The Great Debates

Today's Topic for Our Debating Panel:

This toy kitchen

is less exciting than this toy kitchen. Discuss.

Obviously, this is a misleading debate topic. To most observers, the first kitchen is clearly superior.

For the sake of clarity, we'll say the target demographic for the first toy is a child of preschool age, hereinafter referred to as "Isabella." It has all of the fancies and frills any child (i.e., Isabella) could hope for. It has a realistic oven, microwave, and refrigerator. It has drawers, cabinets, and even a window. It also has over 100 realistic accessories including food, plates, cookware, and utensils. It even has a cordless phone with real buttons.

Truly, what more could a preschool-aged child want?

Well, for one, she could (and will) want the kitchen in the second picture, which is clearly smaller, simpler, and made for a child aged nine months and up.

Why, you may ask? Why would she pass up the opportunity to pretend boil a plastic eggplant and chocolate bar while talking to Dora the Explorer on the surprisingly-real phone in favor of opening and closing a green plastic oven door and shoving geometrically-shaped plastic ice cubes into a hole?

It's because the natural law that befalls all children between the ages of two and four decrees it. For the sake of this debate, I will refer to said law as, "The Law of Sibling Differentials," which states, "The party of the first part wants the smaller, less exciting toy, if and only if, the party of the second part, hereinafter referred to as 'Sophia,' wants it first."

My dear audience, I am at a loss. The "Great Kitchen Debate" is only one of many I have moderated today. I have also witnessed the "Great Musical Instrument Debate," the "Great Juice Box Debate," and the "Great Play-doh Accessory Debate," just to name a few.

In these tumultuous time, such topics must be discussed at length and we must pray that resolutions will soon be made. However, as Head of Diplomatic Sibling Relations, it is imperative that I maintain my sanity while negotiations are under way. In addition to the occasional bubble bath, Girl's Night Out, and manicure, I also indulge in a little fantasy. In my fantasy world, the following phrases would be stricken from my children's vocabulary: "Mine!," "No, Sister!," "That's not yours!," and the ever-popular, "Here, Sister, play with this one instead!"

But, like I said, that is a mere fantasy and not real life. So, for the time being, I suppose real life will involve tantrums, time outs, and tears--and that's just my life.